ElaineC

Back Again?

Blog Post created by ElaineC on Jan 2, 2020

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Back again? Welcome back! You are welcome to relapse and start over again as many times as you want to. But it’s really not necessary. You don’t ever have to take another puff if you don’t want to. If you have already relapsed and didn’t ask for help, none of us can really fix that now. The question is, what will you be doing differently this time? When you post about your slip or relapse...or just try to sneak back into the Q quietly...elders investigate. We first look to see whether you have a real avatar instead of the stock cardinal. Then we look at your profile. Its amazing how many serial quitters we have that haven’t even bothered to fill it out. Or if they have it is very minimal. Then we look at your previous posts. All of them. Here we often notice an almost endless series of “Quit 7 days, Quit 10 days, Quit 3 days, Quit 7 days, Quit 10 days. This or that happened and I relapsed.” Over and over again. And most importantly we notice that in all these previous posts...NOT ONCE...has there ever been a request for help. It quickly becomes obvious to those of us who have been around for a while that these quitters did not go down swinging. They went down without any fight whatsoever! They wanted to fail and they weren’t about to have us talk them out of it. After a while, most of us probably lose interest. Not because you have tried and failed so many times. Most of us did that. But because you never even tried to save yourself. We threw the life ring over and over again. And you didn’t even reach for it. This is a support site. This is why we have the “Three Post Rule”. There IS an expectation here that you will post and wait for at least three responses BEFORE you take that FIRST puff. The help you get WHEN YOU ASK is absolutely incredible. It can literally save your life. The ONLY thing that has ever really helped addicts like us is...other addicts. We have successfully found our way out of the cave, and we would love to show you how to get out too. But we can’t help if you don’t ask. If you simply smoke first and then tell us about it, you have completely destroyed the purpose and spirit of this site. It turns this from a support site to a place to simply announce your serial relapses. Want to change things this time? Want to succeed instead of failing again? Here is the secret formula: Decide to be honest. Don’t try to be sneaky. We are all recovering addicts and we know all about sneaky. It’s a big part of addictive behavior. You might fool your non-smoking friends, spouse, co-workers, or employer, but you won’t fool us. At least not for long. It doesn’t play well here and you will lose some valuable support in the process. It hurts your quit. Be honest. Personalize your profile. Do a good job. Spend some time on it. Journal in it regularly. Document your victories and your struggles. Always use the Three Post Rule and ask for help. Then help others by telling them how you did it. Even if you have 3 days you can help someone on their very first day. Fight like your life depends upon it (it does!). And don’t take that FIRST puff no matter what happens. If you follow these simple rules, one day at a time, it is physically impossible to fail! If you follow these rules, just for today, you will absolutely, positively, be 100% guaranteed to go to bed a WINNER tonight! That the Q works is beyond question. But it only works if you follow the directions precisely as stated on the label. Your friend in Montana Troutnut1-dennis

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