As of today, I am now 76 days absolutely smoke-free with not one cigarette. I realize now the damage I have done by not only smoking but drinking in my younger years. After a bout of meningitis in 06, I slowed way down and quit drinking but continued smoking, not as much but nevertheless still smoked.
Finally, I just said I'm done, put a fork in me.
What's happened since I quit?
Well, I do seem to have more time to do some of the things I want and sometimes I just take a nap if I choose. For three decades I was constantly working always chasing after the carrot until I got sick. Then everything stopped and slowed down.
I realized that while I quit working as an electrician, my mind was still traveling a hundred miles an hour and I smoked to try and slow things down. To chill out I guess.
But since I come from a military family and being a Marine vet and always moving as an electrician, I noticed that it's just in my nature to keep pushing forward. But I wasn't going anywhere, just in my mind. In trying to finally improve my health and bring me some inner peace I decided that cigarettes just had to go. And that's where I am now.
Does all of this quitting stuff work? I guess it does but it doesn't stop my sometimes repetitive thoughts which stem from my bout of meningitis so the docs say. And while that maybe, I don't see that smoking is going to change any of that for the better so that's not a reason to keep smoking.
In short, I find no beneficial reason for me to smoke any more. There just isn't room or time for it.
I do get angry at myself at times for letting my smoking addiction get the better of me but there has been some positive from all I have had going on.
I now go to water aerobics at least three times a week. I have more time to go fishing. I don't smell like smoke anymore and my clothes smell much better. I have more money. I am not as stressed as I used to be. And I am proud of myself for once since I fell ill over ten years ago.
I like many can be extremely hard on myself, but that gets me nowhere. I am learning to just take one day at a time stay smoke-free. It's working, I just have to keep at it.
Hope everyone is doing well. Dave