Okay so I am only on one week now smoke free. However, today was the first day I saw someone smoking in public and I immediately romanced myself back a week ago. Missing holding the cigarette between my two fingers. The closer I got the more I started to fantasize about the smoke filling up my lungs. Then came this smell. Wait... Really... is this what it smells like. My stomach turned and the day dream left. As I stood there staring at this person. In a total daze. Is this what my family has tolerated I thought still fixated on the smell. Then I realized that I was still staring most likely with my face still horrified. Quickly looked away and yet still looking back. Does it really smell that bad? Have I really been that blind... even now I feel dirty 20 years of this really....still in shock... Does it smell this bad???
