I am trying again my quit journey. I haven't been updating for so long that the site changed interface. Cool fresh look. So I am trying to quit smoking again. I have been smoking for a lot of days. I am trying to lose my weight at the same time. Losing weight means you are restricted to a specific diet and that makes me frustrating because I can not enjoy some meals that I love and others can do. So that brought me to a point to think that I alternatively I can smoke. I just want some pleasure in my life. I can not go both smokefree and being on a diet. That means I can not enjoy anything. And I've been smokefree for 8 hours and I am mad. I am extremely frustrated. I am in huge denial. I hate everything and everyone. I feel like being in jail. I feel like I will never experience pleasure and satisfaction again. I know all the health benefits in the long term but right now I am angry. I think I am hurting myself. I have no access to food I want and to smoking. Did I mention I hate everything and everyone?