Diannnnn

Don't shoot me!

Blog Post created by Diannnnn on Aug 10, 2017

I have been struggling with depression over the last week or so and smoking has been at the forefront of my mind. I have been evaluating my feelings, trying to determine if I truly want to smoke again. I really wasn't sure, but I thought I really didn't; I was just curious what it would be like to smoke a cigarette. So I just did. <cringing>

 

K, ready to read my reaction? OMG it was so nasty! It didn't taste anything like I remembered. There was no, "Ahhh, now that is better." Now my ears and sinuses are plugged up, my stomach is upset and my head hurts. I have this horrid ashtray taste in my mouth and my lungs are kinda tight. Now I remember why I quit. I have viewed this quit like a lab experiment, seeing what happens if I do A, B, etc. I in no way want to ever smoke another cigarette and can't for the life of me figure out how I ever liked doing so. I was totally unprepared for this reaction. Part of me thought I would feel better and was prepared to be addicted again. Not gonna happen 'cause that crap sucks big time!

 

So, if anyone was wondering what it would be like....wonder no longer. It is absolutely disgusting! If I have to restart my quit count so be it. Apparently I needed to experience that for some crazy reason.

 

Man I hope these effects clear up soon....I feel horrible! I'll be drinking several gallons of water while you all chime in on the stupidity of my actions...lol.

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