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Share your quitting journey

Anyone ever.....

Diannnnn
Member
1 23 157
‎07-23-2017 11:16 AM

just get kind of bored with their quit? Maybe that isn't the right way to describe it and maybe I am just experiencing a little breakthrough depression. I still have cravings and thoughts of chucking this quit journey. I get through that and find I am really sleepy, despite having a constant flow of nicotine from the patch. I slept most of yesterday afternoon, then just stayed in bed, sleeping on and off, until about 830 this morning. Blew through my alarms so missed church. Now just feel kind of blase about everything in general. I can feel some of my self doubt/self dislike thoughts creeping in. I thought about going for a bike ride, but it is really hot and super muggy. 

I tell myself, hey, 21 days of not smoking, be happy! Then I'm like, yeah, so what? Your not the only one who has ever done this, so why make a big deal about it?

Yep, I have definitely lost my happy. From what I have read on here, it happens during quits. Worries me because of my mental history, but I guess this will pass. Will try to keep doing what I know is best and hope it passes. I have a counseling appt. in a little over a week and psych appt in 3 weeks. Not sure what they can do, but hopefully they will have some worthwhile input.

Smoking won't make me feel better, it will just give me another reason to not like myself. Need to remember that.

Dian

23 Comments
About the Author
Hello. My name is Dian and my quit date is 7/2/2017. I am 54 years old and live with my brother and sister-in-law. My current occupation is caregiver to my 3 nephews ages 5-10. I work 40-50 hours per week in my "Nauntie" role. I have smoked for 33 years and alcohol has been a daily part of my life for approximately 13 years. In addition, I have dealt with depression and anxiety for 30+ years. I am pretty hard-headed and determined. I tend to believe I can treat myself medically because I was a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy, earned an associate’s degree in Health Information Technology and have an affinity for medicine. Six weeks ago I was smoking 20-30 cigarettes per day and drinking an average of 4-6 beers per night for at least the last 9 months. Then I caught what I thought was a normal cold on May 14th. After treating it myself unsuccessfully for a week and coughing so hard as to cause one of the most severe headaches I have ever had, I went to a Take Care clinic to have my lungs listened to and possibly get some steroids. The Nurse Practioner recommended I go to the ER. ER gave me IV steroids and 2 hour long breathing treatments. Left with a whole host of prescriptions. I followed up with my primary care Dr the following Tuesday and he continued the treatment plan. That night and the following morning I had hour-long, incapacitating coughing fits. I could not do anything but cough. My sister in law rearranged her entire day to work from home because she was not comfortable leaving me alone with a 5 year old. I called my Dr. The next morning his nurse called me to let me know about a steroid extension, and then I coughed. She told me I needed to go to Immediate Care as soon as possible. So off I go to the dr. again. He put me in the hospital because outpatient treatment was failing. Two days in the hospital and here we are today. I will be taking a pulmonary function test this Tuesday to confirm or rule out COPD. I have been actively trying to find relief from my depression, this round, through professionals for the last 3 years. I started Lexapro in December and I think it was starting to finally work just before "the cold", despite the amount of alcohol I was drinking. I have not only decided to quit smoking, but I have changed the way I was “living” life. Better nutrition, exercise, quit smoking and quit hiding behind alcohol. If I think about it too much it seems daunting, but it feels right for me at this time so I’m going with for it. I am being very gentle with myself while still holding myself accountable. I know I can do this.