As I have been counting down the days to quit day, (T-2), I have been evaluating my smoking and have decided I truly hate being dependent on the evil little things. Here is what I hate about smoking:
- The scratchiness in my throat after a smoke
- The tightness/full feeling in my lungs
- The taste in my mouth
- The immediate flow of mucus from my sinuses when I light up
- The way it ruins the taste of my drink or what I just ate
- The way I become a mindless automaton when my body decides it needs nicotine
- The look on my nephew's faces when I "step outside"
- The shortness of breath when I do something formally easy, like climbing the stairs
- The money I have spent on cigarettes
- The fact that I have permanently damaged my lungs
- The coughing that wakes me up
- The cravings that wake me up
- The feeling that I am simply a slave to my addiction
I have also come up with a list of things I love about not smoking from my brief decrease due to misusing the patch:
- Being able to breath through my nose
- Being able to actually taste food
- Being able to spend the money on things I want to rather than need to
- Seeing the happiness on my nephew's faces when I don't have to interrupt our time with a smoke break
- The way my throat, lungs and sinuses feel after not smoking for several hours
- The freedom I feel when I am not a slave to the addiction
I am sure this list will grow when I get past the first 24-72 hours. I am nervous, excited, worried and happy all at the same time. I can't wait to join the N.O.P.E. subscribers/Freedom Train riders. I know I can do this mostly because I want to do this! Every time I am out of breath I get pissed off. I don't do well when my body can't do what my mind believes it should be able to. I also am determined to never have my happy butt confined to a hospital room due to my stupid addiction. It was only two days, but seemed like an eternity to me.
I have been planning how I will cope next week and coming up with alternatives to smoking. I really do think that timing my quit with my trip to FL is going to be very helpful. Taking myself out of my normal routine the first 5 days will hopefully help me. My Dad has a pool, the beach is minutes away and I have a new neighborhood to walk through. If I wake up craving, I will jump in the pool. If I get antsy, I will go for a walk or go to the beach and practice yoga poses. I will not worry about counting calories and steps, I will just do what I feel. I am on vacation for 5 days, but taking a permanent vacation from cigarettes. I will fill my lungs with the Gulf air, dig my toes into the white sands and enjoy my family...all the while NOT smoking.
Seafood and hush puppies, here I come!!