Warning: Tried to not be too graphic, but these notes were written at the time of the smoke.
Today was the first full day of not wearing the patch in 26 days. Here is how it went:
*denotes I actually smoked
0500 (ish) - woke up wanting smoke. Delay tactics deployed.
*0530 - gave in. I hate these damn things. Took 15 minutes to smoke it, put it out once. Taste, throat, lungs - yuck.
*0700 - screwed up the taste of my coffee! I hate smoking!!!
*0756 - arrrgh, felt at loose ends. Nasty cigarettesssss. Can feel the thickening of the phlegm from my sinuses draining down my throat. Bleck!
*0930 - 5 yo meltdown. Please let me gain control over this addiction!
*1030 - Tired and at loose ends again. Stupid habit. I don't need this damn thing. It doesn't help me relax, focus or think about what else needs to be done!
1130 - No Smoke. Playing wiffle ball with the boys. Ran about 10 ft after the ball. Had to rest and catch my breath. Freakin' cigarettes!!!
1200 - 1300: Went to park with boys. Shot hoops, kept running after rebounds. Got dizzy and had to sit down. Yep, love them cigarettes...not!
*1315 - Habit and crave. Yucky taste, scratchy throat, drainage and lungs.
*1400 - After lunch....ruined the good taste of watermelon in my mouth. Alternatives, breathing, water....keep this up Dian and you'll be back on the meds and/or in the hospital!
*1509 - Needed quiet and crave. Should have sat out back with the fidget spinner. Yuck!
*1630 - Getting tired. Stupid addiction! Sometimes the sinus drainage feels like little pellets in my throat. YUCK!
*1745 - Rode my bike to get a pack of smokes so of course I had to have one. Why oh why didn't I listen and hear what everyone tried to tell me? Feels like I am starting my quit prep all over again!
*1930 - Well it has been almost two hours...I'm addicted all right! hate the way it makes my throat feel. Now eating gummy bears to sooth it.
I used the memo pad on my phone to create this log. Will continue to do the same each day so I have something to look back at if I forget how badly I want to quit. I smoked 13 cigarettes yesterday, but had the patch on all night and until I finally got the message about taking the patch off until my quit date. It is highly likely I will have one more tonight before bed. I have started filling out My Quit Plan and have been telling everyone that I am quitting July 2. I used today to document information. Tomorrow I plan to document, but hopefully it will be more about whether or not delay/replacement/alternative tactics work.
Critiques, suggestions, refinements are welcome.