Diannnnn

3 Weeks Since Hospital Admission

Blog Post created by Diannnnn on Jun 16, 2017

Three weeks ago my life changed for the better and I am trying to take advantage of my luck.  This is a summary of the changes I have incorporated since having my happy butt land in the hospital for two days over my "simple cold".  Understand something about me prior to this wake up call; I knew what was best for me and I didn't trust anyone and their advice.  Not doctors, not family, not friends, but most of all not myself.  Oh I thought I knew it all, but we all know I didn't.  Is there still some of that lurking?  Of course there is.  I am working on being more open-minded about receiving advice.  Not dismissing it out of hand because it isn't what I want to hear.  I was pretty much trying to kill myself, just not quickly.  Didn't care what or how much I ate, drank or smoked.  Was alive but not living.

 

In the past three weeks I have:

 

1. Started listening to my body and not forcing it to do what I want it to do or what I think it should be able to do.

2. I will quit smoking no matter how long it takes or how many obstacles life throws into my path. After the steroids are out of my system, I will evaluate moving my quit day up from July 2, to next week. I know now I will have to put them down and walk away.  No slow taper will work as I have  plateaued regarding reducing the number per day.

3. I have incorporated healthier eating habits, concentrating on quality over quantity since the meds totally suppressed my appetite.  This has gone especially well since my taste buds are coming back to life.  Food that you wouldn't have caught me buying and eating in a million years tastes awesome!  Some of the food I used to eat doesn't really interest me much any longer.  For example, I used to love Big Macs and fries. Now, eh, not so much.  I don't miss it, haven't denied myself, but I'm just not interested.  Enjoying the chicken salad I made from leftover rotisserie chicken much more.

4. I started Yoga.  I have two classes under my belt and I love it!  Plan to regain some semblance of flexibility and strength, then add Tai Chi.  I have always wanted to learn Tai Chi and I know it would do me a lot of good.  Once I get into the habit of taking in enough calories per day to support cardio exercise, I will get back on my bike.

5. I have not actively limited my alcohol, but it has happened "naturally".  I open a beer and quite often I don't finish even one. I have had small glasses of wine occasionally with meals and that is pleasant.

6. I have been reteaching myself how to breath  properly.  Yoga is helping tremendously with this.

7. I found this awesome community that teaches me, supports me and gives me honest reality checks. 

8. I have promised myself that I will not return to my life of a month ago.  I was in pain, I hated myself and I was missing everything and everyone I hold dear.  I can't go back there, it will kill me.

 

So that is about it I think.  This list is ever evolving, growing and refining as I rediscover myself and am mindful of what I need and what will support my goals.  Do I love myself?  Not quite there yet, but care enough to make these changes.  

 

And now, since I am hearing my body say it wants sleep...

 

Goodnight and pleasant dreams,

 

Dian

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