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Share your quitting journey

Rough Craving Day

Diannnnn
Member
0 6 81
‎06-14-2017 10:52 PM

I am on day 2 of my last 4 day taper off prednisone. I am beginning to realize just how "up" I was on the higher doses. Wanted a smoke much more often today than over the last 2.5 weeks.  So I started thinking that maybe a "gentle" quit was okay while on the steroid high, but I probably need to pick a quit date.  I am worried if I don't walk away from them my reduction in cigarettes will begin to creep up again. When I ran out today, the one pack having lasted 70 hours, I did not panic and herd the boys into the car to go get another pack.  I did however find 5 half smoked ones from the past couple of days.  Oh come on, you know you've done it; looked in the ashtray to see if you left anything smoke-able. I thought, hey, they taste nasty from the get go, maybe it will turn me off.  Nope.  Bummed one from my SIL 20 minutes ago.  I gotta get this under control before it completely regains mastery of my will.  I have set a stop date NLT 7/2 as I will be leavin' on a jet plane for Florida to see my Dad and family. If I feel I am ready, I will move that date up, but since I'll be flying and all, I thought that might be a good time to put the dang things down for good.  The good news is that I really don't want to wait that long, so maybe I am more ready than I think. Time shall tell.

Short blog tonight, eyes are not staying in the open position very well.

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About the Author
Hello. My name is Dian and my quit date is 7/2/2017. I am 54 years old and live with my brother and sister-in-law. My current occupation is caregiver to my 3 nephews ages 5-10. I work 40-50 hours per week in my "Nauntie" role. I have smoked for 33 years and alcohol has been a daily part of my life for approximately 13 years. In addition, I have dealt with depression and anxiety for 30+ years. I am pretty hard-headed and determined. I tend to believe I can treat myself medically because I was a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy, earned an associate’s degree in Health Information Technology and have an affinity for medicine. Six weeks ago I was smoking 20-30 cigarettes per day and drinking an average of 4-6 beers per night for at least the last 9 months. Then I caught what I thought was a normal cold on May 14th. After treating it myself unsuccessfully for a week and coughing so hard as to cause one of the most severe headaches I have ever had, I went to a Take Care clinic to have my lungs listened to and possibly get some steroids. The Nurse Practioner recommended I go to the ER. ER gave me IV steroids and 2 hour long breathing treatments. Left with a whole host of prescriptions. I followed up with my primary care Dr the following Tuesday and he continued the treatment plan. That night and the following morning I had hour-long, incapacitating coughing fits. I could not do anything but cough. My sister in law rearranged her entire day to work from home because she was not comfortable leaving me alone with a 5 year old. I called my Dr. The next morning his nurse called me to let me know about a steroid extension, and then I coughed. She told me I needed to go to Immediate Care as soon as possible. So off I go to the dr. again. He put me in the hospital because outpatient treatment was failing. Two days in the hospital and here we are today. I will be taking a pulmonary function test this Tuesday to confirm or rule out COPD. I have been actively trying to find relief from my depression, this round, through professionals for the last 3 years. I started Lexapro in December and I think it was starting to finally work just before "the cold", despite the amount of alcohol I was drinking. I have not only decided to quit smoking, but I have changed the way I was “living” life. Better nutrition, exercise, quit smoking and quit hiding behind alcohol. If I think about it too much it seems daunting, but it feels right for me at this time so I’m going with for it. I am being very gentle with myself while still holding myself accountable. I know I can do this.