Day 1 is like a knife!

Blog Post created by Desperateaddict on Jan 7, 2018

So today is day 1 and it feels like a knife is stabbing me.  Here are my symptoms and I've only been 5 hours quit:

1. I haven't been able to sleep all night.

2. Been feeling like I want to beg for help since 4am.

3. Feeling irritable, very on edge.


How do I function like this? What do I tell my husband? Especially if he wants to even touch me, I feel like I'll scream don't touch me right away! Some people could say it's hypo-sensitive.  I don't want to scream at people all day, this is no way to live.


At the same time, I know this is an addiction. I know that I must quit and it's a process, it won't happen overnight. Things will pass but at the same time you can't terrify your family and kill everybody.  You can't take time off of work, at least I can't at all. How will I manage that?


I know that things will get better but how long will I be like this? No it's not just in my mind, it's a real feeling right now and real feelings won't go away right away.  I know it's a lot of questions and I'm sorry, I just feel like this is a mountain that I'm about to climb.


A smoker for 18 years and heavily addicted, I was smoking 2 and some times 3 packs a day.  3 packs wasn't very often during times of severe stress not normal day to day. I'm using the patch as well because I know myself better than nobody, I've tried cold turkey and forget it. I did nothing but cry for 3 days and that's when my husband looked at me and said your job is threatening to fire you and I can't stand to see you like this anymore.  So that was enough of that.