So I woke up this morning with one thought on my mind...I WANT a cigarette! Even when I got my coffee, my brain had me walking towards the garage (where I would smoke) almost like I was still sleeping! I haven't done that in a while.
I'm having a family Christmas party tomorrow night so YES I have been feeling stressed..running around buying food, gifts, cleaning... on and on!
The funny thing is yesterday I was thinking to myself how amazing it was that I was 25 days smoke free and how wonderful it was that I didn't even want a cigarette! HA! I think this is where my addictive brain came in, out of no where I was in a crave like I haven't felt since the morning I put my nicotine patch on Day 1. I also think I was fooled by the fact that since I am wearing the patch I wouldn't have a craving as strong and as real as this one.
I came directly to this support group, I took my pledge that I will not smoke today no matter what, and I will not break that promise. I showered, put on my make-up and did my hair. I am dressed and I'm going to head out and run my last couple of errands - but I first wanted to blog my feelings!
I will stay close to the site today, and I will push through this.. funny that when you let your guard down for a MINUTE how that addiction comes sneaking right back in with a vengeance! I'm glad I caught it and squashed the thought out of my brain like a used cigarette butt! I might be a bit cranky, but oh well.
If I hadn't did the readings here or had the support I have from this group.. I'm not sure I would of had the tools I needed to recognize exactly what was going on. The scary thing is if I hadn't, I very well may have smoked today! That thought makes me nauseous :-( YUCK!
I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!!!
Thank YOU to everyone in this group for taking the time out of your lives to blog... Thank YOU to everyone for taking the time out of your lives to comment and give advice. All of that saved me today! Phewwwww
26 Days Smoke FREE!