There are many things from the past I miss: many of them are related to nature, the smell of the park in the spring time, or in the fall, when as kid I'd roll in the fallen leaves, flowers and fragrant trees, blooming bushes or all kinds, very few of them can grow in Arizona. Peonies were never appreciated at their true value: they are beautiful and delicate and discretely fragrant, their season is short, they fade fast, and they die as quickly as they bloomed as soon as they hit water when I brought them home today.
I don't know how many states actually have Trader Joe's, a small grocery chain, offering a variety of organic produce, and a lot of European imports. Obviously the Peonies are not imported from Europe, but they cater to that kind of population, who, like me, are looking for some symbols from their country of origin. It was at TJ's the only time I was able to buy a very small potted Lilly of the Valley which lasted maybe a week? At home my dad was bringing me huge bouquets when he was coming home from training, in spring time (he was a military man, with a soft side for me, he knew how much I loved their fragrance).
I bought Peonies today, and for now, every time I walk by the vase, I inhale a little more of their so special perfume.
(....And the insert picture feature does not work tonight...Nor does the banner, so no banner for this blog). I used the attach at the end of the blog to show you the 5 I bought today.
The point I am trying to make is while sometimes the smoking "nostalgia" hits me, I can't get a "fix" like I did with the Peonies today, no way. I've learned what the addiction is doing to me, I've learned I have to say NO, No matter what, if I want to keep the precious quit.
I can't keep beautiful peonies alive in water for more than 3-4 days, but I have the tools, we all do, to keep my quit safe, no matter the nostalgic thoughts invading my memories at times. Because that is all the "desires" of smoking left in me, they are just memories.
Have a wonderful weekend!
