I've said it many times, and I will keep saying it: the most significant change in my life when I quit smoking is the incredible freedom I gained: to spend time with family, to travel, to watch a movie's credits till the end, to have my coffee right here, by my laptop while talking to you... I am not scared of another Day One, I am not scared I could die sooner than later, but I value my freedom and won't give it away easily!!!
And the event prompting me to talk about it again was meeting my neighbor yesterday. I had just finished washing my car in the carport. We really need 2 new cars, as both hubby and I are the same age, and will retire at the same time, and we still have 5 -5 1/2 years to work and commute, and 2 old cars. For once in our life I wanted him to have, and drive the new car. Tomorrow we are going to get his new car. My 2001 Subaru Outback, 160,000, still holds pretty well and I believe will give me another couple of years. I wanted to give it a makeover: I cleaned it really well inside, replaced the old, burnt carpets, really scrubbed any accessible area, and got a new wheel cover. And yesterday I washed the outside and did my best to make it spark!!!
My neighbor was a smoker her whole life, until about 6 years ago when she told me she quit; and I believed it, because I could not smell any smoke from her backyard, but when her son was visiting. Last week her son was helping her re-plant her front yard and we were speaking; and I smell this heavy, almost nauseating, tobacco smell, thinking her son replaced the cigarette with the chewing tobacco, maybe?.
Yesterday, as she was approaching my car, she kept coughing, then when she was near me, I smelled the same heavy, stale tobacco smell. Did she start smoking again, or is she chewing too?
No idea, but I can't even describe the feeling of happiness for standing on the other side of the fence, imaginary fence, the fence between a smoking addict, and being an addict who does not do that anymore.
Thanks Giulia for reminding me I have to write my own bout of reflection about the freedom I gained, and to say Thank you EX for helping me get here.
D 1014 DOF