It remains a mystery to me why I did not clean the kitchen at the beginning of my quit; so many here have done it and felt good about it; maybe plain laziness???
Anyway, mom used a bigger container to hold shredded cabbage yesterday, but had a hard time extracting it from one of the many overfilled cabinets. While putting it back, I had to re-arrange some of the stuff and my hand felt something very familiar on a platter.
I pulled out my hand holding 4 brownish cigarettes, extra-long, three green circles separating the filter from the tobacco. The paper over the tobacco was brownish, the one over the filter a darker shade.
Could they have been my brand (Marlboro light 100)? If they were, they were unrecognizable. Nor did they smell like anything.
Later, while talking to my son I asked him if he could have hidden cigarettes while he was still living at home. He said the total of cigarettes he smoked on his whole life was probably about 4-5 packs, but not until he started working in Boston.
While on the phone with my son, I drenched the 4 cigarettes, and threw them in the trash!
I can even believe I had a fleeting moment of…what was it…? Did my receptors wake up for a second, their hopes high I’ll start feeding them again? Ha!!!
Get lost, ghost of my past!!!
N.O.P.E. served me since the moment I decided it will be my salvation, and it did it again last night.
Get lost, ghost, I don’t do that anymore!
