We took mom to an outpatient surgery where she had her first eye's cataract surgery. A lot of prep for just about 15 minutes in the operating room. It all went well, she is resting now, and I am really hoping in a week she'll have her vision restored, as the surgery promises.
As we were driving home we passed an intersection, and I saw a blind man using the white cane and a phone to use the green light to pass. And it made me think how grateful I am for my eyesight, while not quite perfect (I am near sided and wearing glasses from 14 years old), however the handicap is minor compared to a blind's man.
And seeing him also made me think how I elected to be blind to my addiction for so many years. The man has no choice, some unfortunate birth defect, or illness brought him to the state he is in today. But I had a choice, and never, ever wanted to look at it, and make that choice.
Addiction made me blind, non responsive to the damage it was doing to my body, for so many years.
The more I have to "work" on my health issues, the more I realize smoking might have contributed to this or that.
I also realize I might not hit my mom's age ever, let alone preserve my eye sight till 87 if I do. Diabetes type 2 is damaging to the mini vessels in our eyes, and who knows how many times, my reckless life damaged them.
I can't wait for the week until everything is supposed to clear up from mom's eye (floters, cloudiness), and be happy for her better seeing.
Maybe some day I'll learn to forgive myself for hurting my own body, for choosing to be blind to the consequences, till sometimes late, maybe too late in life.
Until then, those reading this, and having not made the right choice for themselves, learn from an elder who wishes she had made the choice not to accept the addiction anymore, way earlier in life. You might be very young and thinking you have time, the sooner you'd stop smoking, the happier you'll be.