A ghost from the past

Blog Post created by Daniela-3-11-2016 on Mar 30, 2018

It has been a while since we are consistent donors to the American Veteran's Association.  One can't believe how much stuff we are buying, using it for a little while then toss it in the closet to use "later"...rather never!


During lunch hours I proceeded through stuff which needed to go.  Some of the things I held on for years were purses.

Maybe because they have so many pockets, holding so much of my past???

Or maybe simply because I was too lazy to check all the pockets before donating.


Today I did: found a lot of cough drops (for years I was carrying them in purses, pockets, pocket book, you name it); and a lot of pieces of gum; and I was just thinking "weird", no lighter yet, when my hand found it: still half full, one of the transparent where you can see the flammable liquid in.  All of them reminders of my life as a smoker: always trying to fight the cough, or freshen my breath, or carrying the accessories to my addiction.


But what I did not expect was to find an e-cigarette.


15 years ago, after my lost 6 months' quit, for a long time I've attempted to quit using all kind of help I could think of: patches, Nicorette gum, hypnotherapy with a therapist, and CD for self hypnotherapy, and of course the e-cigarette.  I had gotten to the point where all I smoked were e-cigarettes; then the supplier moved from the mall I was getting the refills from (keep in mind, this was 12-13 years ago, and the e-cigarette was not such a "hot" (pun intended) item), and I resumed my smoking cigarettes.


So here I was today, looking at it, it looked just like this, 

and very, very, very tempted to see if it's still working.  I am sure it would not have been, too many years had gone by, but after a little fight with myself, I unscrewed the  liquid nicotine container, and dropped the 2 pieces in the garbage along with the lighter.


Small victory, one would say!  It was not small to me, because elders who have way more years of smobriety than my 2 years will tell you; the temptation will always be present, but we always have to remember:  WE DO NOT DO THAT ANYMORE, electronic or tobacco filled, we do not smoke anymore.

Purses are tucked away in the donation bag, the the rest went to the big garbage container in the backyard.