~~You can't save people from their growth. You can't keep them from their lessons. You can't do the work for them. Even when your intentions are good, you rob others from their right to claim their suffering and transform it into healing.~~ Vienna Pharaon
What a lesson this is. Especially here, I think, where so many caring people gather to help. To advise. To hand hold and to listen. Quitting is seldom as easy as "I quit". It's a storm of emotions mixed in with growing stressors dipped in unfamiliar territories of fears and strengths and wonders.
Quitting is an adventure and one that you need to experience. Your journey. You may feel sorrow...you may cry...you may feel rage. That's part of it. You may feel bruised, vulnerable, shaky even. That's part of it, too. And then there will be those moments of secret thrill that you've done it...you've quit. Savor those feelings. In between all the good stuff and the not so great stuff you may try to be 'normal' and live your 'regular' life. But you'll probably find that you're no longer living that life. You will feel....changed. Different.
I wouldn't save you from that adventure. I can't do that work for you....and I wouldn't want to. Because all those emotions you're feeling? All that uncertainty? All those savored thrills? Like a caterpillar transforming into a breathtaking butterfly, you are transforming into the person you've always been. Hidden behind the smoke...buried beneath the addiction...there you are. Stronger than you ever realized. A warrior cloaked in courage. A success story filled with so much inspiration that others will marvel at your story.
Will you suffer by quitting? You may think so. You may have those horrible moments and you may even have doubts and you may waiver in your desire to quit. But every step forward is a win and every moment not smoking is a victory. And all those times you felt like you suffered are now behind you until one day you realize healing is occurring. Life is happening. You've moved on. And you'll feel that secret thrill once again and you'll know to savor it. You'll know that the battle has dwindled to small skirmishes that you know how to win.
No, I won't take that away from you. It's yours to feel. It's yours to grow. It's yours mold and create and own. Make it yours.