~~Give yourself time to be sad, frustrated, and angry. Give yourself time to heal, accept, and to grow. Time doesn't erase anything, but it can provide you with enough space to be able to breathe again. And then one day you wake up and your heart has a little bit of sunshine in it. And day by day people offer you pieces of their hearts to help remake your own. Allow yourself to be where you are at, to feel what you are feeling, and to experience everything that means. And during this process, look and listen for that glimmer of hope. It is there, I promise. And it is waiting for you to see it. Because one of the most beautiful things about humans is their capacity to heal, grow, and survive. Facing it. that is how you get through.~~ Jessica Jensen
It really doesn't matter, you know, whether you are angry that you have to quit smoking or sad that your partner cheated on you or frustrated that your boss is giving you a hard time. Life events can hurt. Changes can be uncomfortable. Situations can take you by surprise and knock you down.
And, oh my gosh, it hurts, doesn't it? The pain can take your breath away and leave you feeling totally exposed...all the pain, all the fear, all the shame....
The difference is that smoking used to be our 'go-to'. When hurt, angry, sad, confused, we would simply retreat from the world with our 'best friend'...a lit cigarette....and the negatives would just melt away for a little while. Later, we would feel like we could once again face a hard, cold world....until the next time we couldn't.
Now, though, we've quit smoking. So every situation that leaves us angry....every event that is less than our stellar moment....every uncertainty and every frustration....has no place to go. WE have no place to go. No more hiding behind smoke. No more disappearing with our 'go-to'. No more making ourselves feel better with a hit of nicotine.
Scary, huh? And unfamiliar, as most of us have smoked for most of our adult lives. How can we cope? How can we feel better? How can we manage?
Moment by moment, of course. Breathing through the craves, grieving for what you feel you have lost, feeling the uncertainty of how you can function without smoking. Time doesn't erase things, but it will give you space. Space to heal. Space to grow. Space to accept. Don't rush through your quit, please. Give yourself that time to grow into who you were always meant to be.
And one day, you will feel that glimmer of hope in your heart. And one day you may hear that glimmer of hope throughout your day. And then one day you will see it. The fog will lift and the smoke will clear and there it will be. Hope for your glorious smoke free life!! Once you see it, you won't want to let it go. And if you keep your eyes on that hope, your thoughts will turn towards it and your heart will reach for it and everything you thought you were losing will melt away as hope spreads, bringing with it happiness, love, acceptance.
Facing it is how you get through. Because one of the most beautiful things about humans is their capacity to heal, grow, and survive. This is true for you, as well. Please just give yourself that grace of time.