Today there is just me. I often write because it's one of my coping skills. If I keep emotions inside (especially negative ones), they grow out of control until I sink into the blahs and pity parties. Releasing them out into the world just allows me to let them go and move on.
So I come here and write. Hoping to help others as well as myself. But I'm unsure of that. I don't know how much I help anyone. I'm ok with that as well because I don't need to know I do...I just need to continue to hope I do (if that makes sense). When I write, it often gets written in short-hand. My thoughts flit from one thing to the next and I don't always finish the thought. So the end product can be a bit confusing and a multitude of only glimpses of insight. I get that and I don't go back and re-write. Once I get it out, I have very little interest in making it presentable
But I want you to know that I share because I also care. We are all very much alike in some ways. We all want to or have stopped smoking. We all have emotions. We all ride life's roller coaster. And, I think, we all want to be accepted for who we are. Whether who we are is anxious, depressed, confused, angry, socially awkward, shy, or a leader.
Writing is one of my coping skills. I don't have to be Tolstoy or Hemmingway or Bronte to write. It just is who I am. I also dance, paint, volunteer, garden, roller skate, cook, organize. I still want to learn how to draw, sing, speak better German, balance my checkbook. I hate skydiving, scuba diving, race car driving, and public speaking (yep, tried them all!). I am only telling you this now because I used everything I love to quit smoking. I avoided everything I hate to quit smoking. I used everything I want to learn to quit smoking. And so it worked for me.
We can't quit for you. There is no magic cure, no secret quit society, no pill that is going to do this for you. Your quit depends entirely, 100% on you. I hope you truly understand that. Because sometimes I think quitters come here asking for help and then don't understand why they are still struggling. Your quit is absolutely on you and only you. I can't say that enough. If you succeed, it's because you are a bada** quitter who stayed the course. If you do not succeed, it is because you aren't yet in the right mind set. No, you do not "fail"!! This is not a pass-fail kind of thing. This is a 'changing my life' kind of thing. You have to accept the change and you have to maintain the change. If you succumb to the 'it feels too uncomfortable and icky', you are right back at day 1 again and will go through the exact same things until you are ready to accept the change.
So this became a very long post and I didn't mean it to be. I wanted to let you know that I write a lot here because it's how I cope. And I wanted to let you know how I cope because I want you to understand it matters how you cope with things. It's the key to change, you know?!! Coping through it.