~~Today I want you to ask yourself this one question. "Why not you?" Why not you to do something for work that you love? Why not you to have a healthy body? Why not you to have healthy love? Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed? We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves. The truth is that we are all deserving so why not you?!~~ Jillian Michaels
So I was in class yesterday at the jail and we briefly got off subject to talk about what getting a GED does for a person. You know....a boost to the self-esteem, more job opportunities, possible trade school or college asperations...when one of the men I teach said, "Yeah, well, I'm just a f*&)up and nothing's going to change that." He wasn't angry, he wasn't pitying himself....it was just a statement said in his truth.
While his view of himself hurt my heart, this wasn't about me but of him and his view of himself. How can he ever live his best life when he thinks the worst?
And how can smokers go into a quit knowing they 'will fail' and 'can't do it'? That they are "just smokers and nothing is going to change that". They may have stopped their active using but they are somewhere stuck between the 'not smoking right now' and the 'quit'. They are often building themselves up for the monster fail. The all encompassing "omg, I just couldn't take it anymore" relapses. Some don't ever come back here because quitting is not for them. Some get right back on that horse but don't know how to ride. Some finally reach that level of acceptance and surrender that does indeed lead to their 'forever quit'.
But if you are quitting knowing that you will fail, then you are not quitting. You are just not smoking and hoping for a miracle cure. Please don't do that to yourself!! You are that miracle cure! You have to believe better of yourself than "I will just fail again". You have to know you have what it takes...whatever 'it' is. Courage. Strength. Commitment. Knowledge. Everything you need to quit is already inside you but it's up to you to believe that and pull it out.
My GED student? Well, we talked about self-fulfilling prophesies. We also talked about the people who love him and how they see something in him worth loving. And we talked about those moments in his life when he felt like he did something good. I saw his eyes flicker with a sudden understanding of what we were saying. He was actually quiet the rest of the class and I'm hoping he was thinking how maybe he wasn't such a f****up after all. I think we'll take 5 or 10 minutes before we start class from now on to talk about the good they feel they do and maybe about how they see themselves each day.
Maybe you can do that, too? Maybe if you're struggling with your quit or you think you can't quit...well, maybe you can talk about all those times you did something you didn't think you could do. Maybe you can think about all the good in you that will help you maintain your quit. And maybe you can feel like you are worth quitting for. Reach out. Ask. Share. We're here for you.