~~Free yourself from the burden of a past you cannot change.~~ Dr. Steve Maraboli
So you quit a thousand times before. And you 'failed' at them all. And you may have even disappointed yourself, disappointed your family. Maybe you hesitate now because you failed then. Maybe you are too scared to try because you haven't been able to ever live without smoking.
The only thing that matters in life is now. You can't go back and change things. You actually shouldn't want to. Everything you've done up to this moment is leading you to...well....this moment. You've learned. Not failed, my friend. Just learned.
You learned that the pull of addiction is strong so YOU have to be stronger. You've learned that you can't do this by yourself so you've found this site for support and guidance. You've learned that you have some things to learn....about addiction, about stress relief, about you.
You may be afraid that cough means something bad like asthma, emphysema, or cancer. You may hate the fact that you've smoked your way through life, damaging your body, damaging your relationships, damaging your credibility every time you didn't 'quit'.
The only thing that matters in life is now. You have to face that cough....that emphysema....that cancer. Illness makes no time for lingering over regrets. You need knowledge, a plan, and goals. You need to be centered on now and all the things that now is bringing you. Don't let pain or uncertainty from the past further damage your attempts to move on.
If you dwell in the 'could've', 'should've', you get mucked down in regret, feelings of failure, and self-loathing. The past isn't something you can change but it is something you can learn from. Let it go with love for all you were then and turn to what you are now. Wiser, ready, able, experienced. Everything you want can be had. Everything you don't want can be let go of. Release yourself from the burden of the past and thank it for teaching you what you needed to know to move on. As a non-smoker.