~~Shame is the most powerful master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.~~ Brene Brown
How many years have you been dabbling with quitting? How many times have you started, then fallen, then started again? How many promises have you made yourself that you just didn't keep? Maybe by now you feel defeated. Helpless. Ashamed.
All those harsh, negative self-judgments can truly eat away at our confidence. Even more, they can truly make us feel like we're not good enough. Not good enough to quit smoking. Not good enough to have the freedom ex-smokers seem to enjoy. Not good enough to even ask for help because we will just blow it again.
False reality. That's all it is. All those dark, hurtful emotions are a false way of looking at yourself. Part of it is your addiction talking. After all, if you consider yourself a failure, you might as well just keep smoking, right? Part of it is life experiences that can damage the very core of how we see ourselves. The combination of the two can keep us locked to an addiction that will kill us.
(I always encourage those who have had trauma to seek professional help to work through it. Ignoring it won't work forever. Self-medicating through drugs, alcohol, risky behaviors won't work either. A professional can steer you through the muck until you are steady again. Professionals can even assist you in your quit journey! The more support you have and the more shoulders you have to lean on when you need to, the more successful you will be )
As for those feelings of defeat and shame....well, you deserve better. You are unrepeatable, you know. Unique and priceless and the universe is a better place for having you in it. You may not believe it now. Of course you don't! But let those thoughts play through your mind. What if....what if you were truly a gift to this world? What if you touched people's hearts in a way that no one else could? What if you are perfect just the way you are? What if...what if you were to love yourself?
May you one day believe the best about you