I went to a friends birthday dinner last night and not sure what happened but everyone and I mean everyone, turned into complete jerk faces. I was convinced it was them and only them. Then I went home and was cleaning up the kitchen, I do that when I get home and prep the coffee for the next day. I emptied the trash because Wednesday is trash day and when I went to get a new trash bag...the box laid there completely empty. I repeat THE BOX WAS EMPTY!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME!?!?!? THE TRASH BAG BOX IS EMPTY!!! Normally I'm super mellow and not yelly BUT I yelled for my husband and was like....DUDE! WE ARE OUT OF TRASH BAGS?!?!?!?!?! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED??!!!!!!!!!! Then I stomped around and closed a few doors firmly. He didn't say much but did change out of his jammies and went to go buy some trash bags immediately even though it was after 9 PM...he probably just wanted to get away from me. While he was gone I realized, shoot, if it's everyone else there is a real - real slim possibility that it's actually me being the jerk face. You know the old saying, if you're pointing a finger there are four pointed right back at ya. But probably not.
I was cranky this morning when I woke up too and it's sort of just lingering but after some honest reflection, I texted my husband this morning and apologized. From what I've read on here it's somewhat normal to be so 
happy shortly followed by 
WE ARE OUT OF TRASH BAGS !!!!!
Here's me getting real honest, my sister is pregnant with her second and smoked all through her first pregnancy and probably will through this one too. Yes, it's horrible. She and I both know. I've shared my quit with her and continue to tell her it's not that bad and encourage her that she can do it. Also before you judge my baby sister let us not forget not that long ago it was totally okay for pregnant women to smoke. I know it's not now and so does she. Let us also not forget it is an addiction.
Her first child is totally healthy and God willing her second will be too. I think the trash bag anger I experienced may have been a bit of an underlying self-pity and jealousy and more self-pity after getting a few ultrasound photos from her yesterday afternoon. I'm 38, I quit smoking and I can't seem to have a healthy pregnancy and she's smoking and on her second hopefully healthy pregnancy. I guess maybe I might have hidden this junk behind some nicotine in the past. All the more reason to stick with the quit and continue as a non-smoker. Just need to get my feelings in check.
Being a non-smoker is weird.
