DEFJamBaby

My first morning without

Blog Post created by DEFJamBaby on Feb 9, 2017

My original quit date was February 11th, but since I ran out of tobacco yesterday, I decided to call it quits then and there (it was about 4pm). Smoking friends had great ideas, like: "wait til the late evening, that way you can have your last one as a reward" or "save it until tomorrow, that way you can still have one then".

I know exactly where they are coming from, but I left this place mentally about a week ago and have gotten further and further from thinking like that. Thanks to this website, Alan Carr's book and quitsmokingonline. I just wanted it to stop.

Once I put out that cigarette, I actually yelled out "YES!", I was so happy that I wasn't torturing myself by checking this cutting down app anymore when I'm supposed to have a cigarette. It started out as a "When can I have my next one?", but turned into a "Seriously, another one? When does this end?" the more I read and the more I understood. I was so relieved that the day was finally here, that I nearly started crying.

So this morning (I usually would have had at least one by now) I'm feeling alright. I'm thinking a lot about smoking, but not in the sense of "I want one", more in a way of "Cigarettes were a part of my life for 18 years, jeezuz". I'm trying to imangine all those moments to come, when I get to say "No thank, I don't smoke", or to see people that have been trying to convince me to stop for years. It already makes me really happy thinking about all of that.

I do get a knot in my chest, for example right now, but it's barely noticable. Is that a craving? I'm genuinley confused. I actually thought, that I would have to fight this uncontrollable urge from the minute I put out that last cigarette, but so far only this little knot, as if I'm about to get sick, but I don't. And after a minute or so, it's gone. I didn't even have that feeling at all last night. Is that normal? Will it get worse than this?

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