I have been having a very hard time for the last 30 days. I pray to protect my quit everyday. I am getting more and more depressed like I am gonna lose and I keep holding off saying anything to you guys because I don't want to be one of those people who crys out for attention. I have been having fantasies about buying a pack of cigarettes and having a great big screw it smoke out. The only thing that has stopped me so far is knowing how rotten I would feel if I threw in the towel on all my progress and hard work. I am feeling like failure is just a matter of time and having a hard time remembering why I quit in the first place. This is my first quit, so I am having thoughts about everyone who got to try several times before THEY had to REALLY quit. I am in big trouble and living on a wing and a prayer. I have 105 days since I smoked my last cigarette but I can't claim to have 105 days of Freedom because I certainly do not feel free!
I am sad and angry that it is so very hard on me.
I even asked my smoking teacher if I could visit his class and he asked me to wait two more weeks! I'm not sleeping well and my blood feels keyed up most of the time. I think about giving up two or three times everyday... I had such a positive attitude when I first quit and I cant seem to get it back.. what do I do now?!