I am gonna give it to you straight. I feel straight up lonely! My social circle in real life isn't really all that good. It turns out that lately lockdown or no lockdown my friends don't make plans with me and I don't make plans with them.
I have a best friend who is busy with his new g/f. I have another friend who just cancels their plans with me on the last minute. A lot of my friends are too far away and/or too busy with their own plans. Some of my friends are married up. Some of my friends are having babies. And then there is me. Single Bachelorette living in a big 3 bedroom home alone!
I need to come to terms with the fact that this is the way it's going to be. All on social media and blogs, where everything seems to had changed the way we socialize. Is it me or doesn't anyone ever hang out in real life anymore?
This made me wake up and realize that sadness comes in different ways. But so does catch 22s! Loneliness is one of the things that bring sadness. But also is humbling because of how less complicated it is to be alone. I am usually ok with being alone. But considering the timing that it is after Valentines Day this whole thing makes me feel sad.
At the moment I don't really want a relationship. I just miss the company of others outside of my family. I also learnt that the alcohol can make you lonely when you drink on your own. When it comes to me I become a different person, which can have a negative impact on relationships with family and friends. I guess I am partly to blame for this loneliness. But This is something I know I can change.