I have been making more big changes this time.
I made a start on a prescription drug called Acamprosate to keep my alcohol consumption on the down low. I am now on day 3 and I haven't gotten sick just yet.
Or though I felt morbidly frustrated. On Thursday I really wanted to drink because I was accomplished and after I did everything I needed to do I got bored, sad, depressed, frustrated. It all came over me when I was in the bathtub and all I could do was hang my hear over my arms over the edge and just cry a little. Its funny how one can cram so many different emotions into one moment! I didn't realize how so much emotion can affect my drinking. But in the end I didn't drink. It was like smoking and not having one puff ever no matter what moment.
I am still a work in progress. But I am making it happen. I had my first Sesh with my psych Councillor, which helped me talk about everything regarding all my losses and mainly the death of my Grandmother, which I never had proper help for. Everytime I think of her I can't truly stop feeling how much I love and miss her. I get emotional because we were so close and had so many good times. But I feel like I haven't made sense of this moment in time.
I also decided to go Keto vegetarian for 6 months. Don't get me wrong I like my omnivore ways. But it's time to try something different. I am also trying to exercise 2-3 times a week to match up my new diet. I was never an obese person. But always taking care of my appearance, which is great for the mind. I have also started taking liver detox supplements, which also might boost the will power with sobriety. I see myself with a good body with confidence, being stress free and just happier. But Now in this point in time I honestly feel that staying occupied isn't enough.