I spent my first Friday and Saturday without Alcohol this week, which is the first time in 2 years. After this weekend It'll be my first full weekend Without alcohol this week. After Tuesday it will be my first whole week in 2 years without a drink. I do not feel excited about it or happy about it though. There are massive side effect when taking the Naltrexone according to Google there are:
- sleep problems.
- joint and muscle pains.
- abdominal pain and cramps.
My main symptoms listed here are Sleep problems where I have a broken sleep, I get the cramps really bad and sometimes I get a mild headache sitting in the background. They say these go away within a few days. But it's doing it job keeping most of my drinking cravings away while my body is changing with the higher dose of mood stabilizers. Like I said staying sober for now is only temporary for now. All I know is that I am on a mission to get better. My Mother reckons I might be slowly coming back.
I have good news and somewhat bad news. The bad news is that I broke up with my Boyfriend. Mainly it was because of an uncertain future. He won't move interstate to be with me and I have already tried moving interstate to be with him in the past. He doesn't want kids after marriage. But I am open to it. I don't think he will ever be moving out of home to be emotionally independent away from his dad. He's been stuck in the same spot all his life because of his issues with changes, a mental illness, etc. Another reason is that I realized that at this stage I am too emotionally and mentally unstable to maintain a relationship in my life. I just can't do it. But with My Ex Boyfriend we are on good terms and just platonic friends. I think do better being single.
The good news is that I managed to get on with the music by recording vocals for two different artists and I am glad I accomplished it. I had some amazing Feedback from one of the artists came back saying that it was absolutely ****ing amazing! I was so chuffed and happy to hear this while I was at work during messages. I hope to collaborate with more artists in the future. I have so much unfinished business.
Steady as she goes.