This morning I spoke to my doctor. I have had my anti depressants upped to 60 mgs instead of 45mg. Alongside this I am going on a drug called Natraxone (however you spell it) , which is said to help with the psychotic episodes when I do drink.
To be clear I only have these episode when I drink occasionally. Everyone is telling me that drinking is poison, moderation doesn't work, drinking is not a good idea, don't drink, etc. These words do not make me want to stop drinking.
I refuse to go to AA because I am not ready to fully quit alcohol. But I am getting help for all of my underlying other mental and physical heal issues.
There will be arrangements for me to see a shrink. So I am not sure when I'll be back.
The weather here had been so windy and still cold despite it being spring I haven't even been able to make a start on my home projects.
Because of my current mental state I haven't had much motivation to do much indoors.
Last night I had a dream about smoking. It disgusted me! I dreamed that someone rolled me a cigarette and it was the last thing I remembered. I don't know why I dreamed this or what it means.