I have been reading, and reading, and reading this site, and soul searching for a few days now, trying to grasp and drill home that the key is committing to never again. I read Carr's book the other day, and while it was informative as always, the magic was just not there anymore. So I stayed on the blogs here. Kept asking myself wth am I missing? I get it, it just won't absorb. And then, about 6:00 tonight, something funny happened. I realized that I had eaten dinner, and was on my second cup of coffee, and hadn't smoked since about 3:30.
The weird part, is that I haven't had a conscious conversation with myself, saying never again, but I think some part of me has. Because I literally can't even visualize a cigarette. It's like blacking out the picture. I know I have had a few craves, but it's "oh look, a butterfly", and I have forgotten. It's as if I have completely blocked out cravings and cigarettes in general.
But that's why you guys are awesome. I have been reading and rereading your blogs for days, and I think it's helped me finally get it. No more day ones.
