Last night I was sitting in my comfy chair, mindlessly vaping, and reading blogs and such on EX, when it hit me like a ton of bricks; I knew then and there that I was not going to sit around for another week, waiting for my quit date, so that I could waste my money, my energy, my time and my life getting ready to make a change.
So I got up from my chair at 11:45 p.m. I went and took a shower and brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed.
I had made the decision to never pick up, ever again, no matter how much I wanted, or thought I wanted to. To not even have one puff, to not allow myself to be controlled by this evil any longer, to stand firmly before My God and say, "Lord, I am ashamed. I have sinned, I have put you and everyone else I love on the back burner, and I have been praising this IDOL that we call Nicotine, for far too long. I have made up my mind to give it all to you, Father, and not take it back anymore." By then it was time for bed, and I was ready to get started being Smober.
So I hit the sack. I slept so well for the first time in ages. I was very relaxed and woke up pleasantly, ready to start my day.
With being half way into day one under way, I was pretty excited to find out that I did not have many cravings. I ticked my fingernails a lot and chewed gum, and sang along to The Grateful Dead and Creedance Clearwater Revival in my car while I drove around paying bills. Even after eating lunch I felt great, and not worried about slipping.
I know that I will not relapse because, I know what is at stake. I have tried so many times to quit smoking and vaping, but I never took it to heart. Instead of quitting, I was giving myself permission to take a break from smoking for a while.
Until now...
My mom has always told me that I am very tenacious, determined, and headstrong. When I decide to do something, it gets done. Now I have decided to leave the folly of my youth behind me and to move on.
I am very pleased to announce that I have not smoked since 11/29 and I have not vaped in nearly 14 hours. But it does not matter to me how long it has been since I have smoked, just as long as I am Smober now, and I never have another puff.
Not.One.Puff.Ever.
Thank you, God, it feels so good to be on day one and have a Day Won.
