I do hope all is well with everyone and that our quits are safe. Me, just living and loving a life of relative freedom. Not total freedom but close. I still get the occasional urge here and there but I just consider this to be a reminder of the wonderful thing I’ve done for my life and my future.
Keeping a commitment simply strengthens us in ways we never really thought about. Our desire to be free is strengthened every time we say no to an urge or trigger. This is indeed a kind of blessing when beating an addiction. Every action that we take toward freedom makes us stronger until one day we can indeed feel safe from our quits.
Still, just from those who have quit for long periods of time I know that we must continue to be watchful of our quits. We must continue to understand that at any time an urge can pop up out of nowhere. This is only an issue if we give into these phantom urges. The only strength they possess over time is the strength that we ourselves give them.
I’ve actually reached the point where I can be aware of my urges, laugh at them and move on without ever really being bothered by them. Perhaps this is the freedom that we seek. Perhaps this is the way it is for an ex addict. Always the possibility of urges because we lived so long as smokers and yet we find ways to take the wind out of those sails. We find ways to ignore those ridiculous thoughts of smoking.
So yes, our lives do become free by degrees. Our thoughts do eventually become the thoughts of those who never smoked with time. Our hearts do become free of the torture that is caused by quitting an addiction. And really, it all started with a belief in our hearts that we could do this. It all started by building the strength that we need to succeed and then taking that first step and forgetting that we are smokers. It all starts with a desire to live a future that is free of the addiction of smoking. A desire to be there for our loved ones and to see them grow and enjoy their own lives.
So yes, though we made mistakes in our past we must forgive ourselves for those mistakes because if we don’t. If we dwell for to long on our past mistakes, we could lose our commitment. So never beat yourselves up over what you’ve already done. Instead look to the future. You can’t change what you’ve already done but you can change what lies ahead in your lives. You can live for the brighter days ahead that you are creating right now.
And it really is worth every torturous day that you might feel. It really is worth taking the time to live a more harmonious life. It really is worth the effort to see our futures as something filled with life and knowing that down the road no matter what we thought before, we will be free of the shackles that we created for ourselves. We will be free of the doubt in ourselves that an addiction can create within us if we let it. We will be free to seek new goals that we never thought we could achieve because with this one action that we take in our lives, we prove to ourselves that we can do anything we set our minds to do!
To me, when we can fight that internal war with ourselves and win. When we can create a life free of addiction. When we can feel the beauty that is life. This is the day that we are truly free even if the addict within still tries to destroy all that we’ve done.
So all I can say at this point is enjoy the freedom that we’ve worked so hard to create. Dwell not on the lies of our addictions but instead dwell on the new world you’ve created. The one without cigarettes in it!!