As I walk out of the land of confusion and move onward in my journey, I remember many a thing that both amazed me and surprised me in the last few months. When I started this journey, I never would have believed the power that the addict within had over me. I never would have believed the internal conflict that I would set up for myself. I never would have believed that I would listen to the sweet lies of my addiction and give them any credibility at all.
But these things did happen. The conflict was ever confusing and yet real. The addiction tried to use the tentacles that it had dug into me to get me back to those "normal" days of cigarettes, as the addiction puts it. The mind rebelled because the very world that I knew so well was changing and a part of my mind couldn’t fathom that change. It just seemed like so much work!!
But each step I took on this journey proved to me and my addiction that the old ways were just that. The old ways. I knew deep inside that I was doing the right thing and yet somehow, my mind rebelled.
I thought this to be a sign of weakness at first. I found this to be something that made no sense to me even though I was living it. And yet when I thought of this, I realized that it wasn’t a weakness at all. It was my mind telling me that I was an addict. Showing me what my addiction looks like. Creating a scenario that I never wanted to live again and yet, somehow still did.
So yes, there are many confusing moments for us as we quit. There are many conflicting days within our own minds. The thing is that the mind eventually clears the confusion away. The mind does eventually weaken the addict and tuck that creature away as best as it can.
But so long as I know that the addict is there, then I am safe. So long as I know the intentions of the addict, then I have the knowledge to protect my quit. So long as I always remember the lessons learned in the last few months, then I will be fine.
So this is indeed when the journey gets easier for us my friends. It is indeed the day that we look forward to from the first day that we start the journey of our futures. It’s there waiting for you and yet lives within you all along. It’s the gem of life that we seek. The gem that will brighten our futures and build a confidence within ourselves that cannot be taken from us for that gem lives within us.
And all it takes to see that gem is the ability to clear the clutter of addiction from our minds, allowing our minds to see things more clearly. So fight on my friends! The day is coming ever closer when you can take that breath of freedom and love it’s sweet taste. The day is right over the horizon. The one where your freedom lies so long as you never give up or give in.
I have to tell you that this journey is worth every second that we put into it. It’s worth all the agony that we ourselves create along the way. It’s worth all the confusion. It’s worth all the internal fighting within ourselves.
Freedom does indeed come with a price. But freedom is also the best feeling that you can imagine!
So look to that future without cigarettes! Look to the future that you yourself are fighting to create. Never loose sight of that goal of freedom and before you even realize how much time has passed, you WILL come out on the other side!!!