Still finding my path to freedom and what a wonderful path it is!! As I find myself ever more on the other side of my addiction I sometimes wonder why it seemed so hard. Really, what I’ve learned is something that can be taught but in reality, it has to be lived. Perhaps this is just the reality of an addiction.
Since the addiction lives within us, we have to teach ourselves how to get to the other side. This comes from experience and is practiced over time. To me, this is why each day gets easier. Because of the experience and the fact that every day is a learning opportunity to teach our addict within.
But we can never become to confident in our quits. So many things can come at us that can derail the very confidence we have in ourselves. I mention this because we are about to go into a holiday weekend. This is a time to be very careful and aware of our internal battle. This is the time to remember all that we have accomplished.
This is also a time to remember that our internal addict may try to derail our quits using the memories of our past holidays. The addict may decide that this is the best time to sneak up on us and slap us in the face with urges that are formed from past experiences on these holidays.
As many have said, we are not completely safe with our quits until we live all of the memories of the past. You know, the ones with cigarettes in them. It’s so easy to associate a day such as the forth of July with times when we smoked before. This must not happen!!
So I hope we can all enjoy our holiday as we have earned it but at the same time we must remember to keep our addicts at bay and be just a little prepared for a surprise urge. If alcohol is a trigger for you then perhaps it should be avoided this weekend so that we do not give the addict within additional ammunition to attack us with.
But the thing is that once we get through this holiday and put it behind us, we can put another notch in the belt of our quits. We can be proud of the fact that we have made it one step closer to our freedom. We can indeed celebrate life and relish in the fact that we are still free.
After all, this particular holiday really does signify a kind of freedom. And for us, it can signify a freedom from ourselves. It can signify our belief in ourselves. It can signify our desire to see so many more holidays in the future, free of the addictions of the past.
So if you find yourself to be weakening during this weekend, think of the future that you seek and forget the memories of the past. See the beauty of what you are doing and never ever think that the addict within can win for if we remain just a little aware of him, then we can take away his ammunition. We can strip him of his ability to derail our quits.
So fight on my friends! Celebrate our freedom as we celebrate the freedom from ourselves! We have the power to win this internal battle. All it takes is a desire to be truly free and I for one have that desire deep inside of me. I have the desire to fight for my freedom and the belief that nothing can ever stop me from attaining that freedom!
Onward to the freedom that we so dearly love!!