The days just keep slipping by since the day that I chose to become one of the free ones. You know, the ones not chained to a demon that only wants to slowly sap away our life and at times even our belief in ourselves. The one that says there is no life without those cigarettes. The one who says that there will be no comfort for us if we choose to try to attain our freedom. The one who whispers those sweet little lies into our ears. The one who must be crushed in order to succeed!
Yes, it can seem like a long and endless battle at times. It can seem like we will never be completely free of our addictions. But I have to say that this is a fallacy. It’s just us adding extra drama to an already dramatic event in our lives. It’s true that it’s hard to quit this evil weed. It’s true that our minds are constantly fighting what we know is right. But really, it doesn’t have to be hard!
We just have to walk our path to freedom while holding our heads up high for we know that what we’re doing is a wonderful thing. We know that we’re taking our lives back! We know that we’re giving ourselves a chance to live a future that we might not have lived without taking this one step to change our lives forever. We know that we’re taking a journey of life. One that will change the very nature of our beings over time.
Yes, I’m feeling pretty good about my journey today. I’m feeling pretty secure in my quit and yet I know that I’m still in that dangerous place that many call no man’s land. That place where the demon that is our addiction will pop up at any time for this demon waits quietly until we are just a little to confident and then pounces on us with wild feelings and emotions that we never thought we’d feel again.
Still, I’m quite happy with my quit. I’m quite happy with my choice of life over a slow agonizing death. I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege to share this journey with all of you for together we can climb mountains that might not be so attainable alone. It’s not that misery loves company. No, not at all. It’s more that when we fight together. When we realize together the true nature of our addictions, we no longer feel alone. We no longer find our feelings to be something that no one else has ever felt. When we fight together, we feel a power that we might not feel when we fight alone.
It’s the power of truth and understanding. It’s the power of seeing what we’re going through simply because we can see this same thing in others. It’s the power of knowing that together we will win this war with ourselves. We will in the end be free!
So yes, I’m quite happy with my quit. I’m quite happy with the fact that I’ve made it 75 days. And though I know the journey is not quite over yet. Though I know that there will still be hard days ahead, I also know that I’ve already learned how to deal with those things. I already know what to expect. I already know the games that I play with myself except there is one difference. I now know how to WIN those games. I know how to tame my addict!
And so I continue on secure in the knowledge that the next time the addict tries to attack I will simply smile and use what always worked for me in the past. I will live the moment in happiness for I will know that the addict will not win.
And soon I will climb that 14,000 ft. peak which will symbolize the true Mt. Freedom because when I make this climb I’ll know that I might not have achieved it had I not changed my life once and for all!
Keep your eyes on the prize my friends!!