Seventy days. To be honest, when I first started this journey I never would’ve believed that I’d get this far. But that was before I actually quit. Before I made my life as a non smoker a reality. When all I could do was imagine what it would be like. When Mt. Freedom loomed off in the distance looking unbelievably gigantic!
And then when it was time to begin the ascent. When it was time to take that first cautious step onto an unknown path, I knew I was ready. I knew that this mountain and myself would become quite intimate with each other. What I didn’t know was that I would be dragging that internal addict kicking and screaming along with me. I was pretty sure that my addict would be hard to train and yet I never thought that he would be so sneaky. That he would try so many little tricks along the way.
This is why we climb together. To keep him close to me where I know what he’s up to. To keep him in the forefront of my thoughts and thereby weaken his power. Even though we are both one and the same person, it’s easier for me to battle him when I give him a little mind of his own. It’s easier to relate to the irrational thoughts that my own mind creates when I see it as a fight with myself.
I think we all reach inside of ourselves when we quit this horrible addiction. We have no choice because this is an internal battle that cannot be won until we find peace within ourselves. Until there are no tentacles of addiction left to rip out of our beings. And until that time we must always be careful. We must always be aware of that internal addict for if we loose sight of him for even a moment he may creep up on us and throw us a curve ball that we don’t need. He may take away our confidence and belief in ourselves.
Thankfully, I understand this part of myself very well and am learning more and more with each passing day that my addiction though ingrained very deep within me does not have the power to stop me. It doesn’t have the power to ruin my life. Only I possess this power. Only I can be the one who gives in. Only I can loose sight of my goal. Of my freedom.
And so I continue on, never questioning the fact that I will succeed for my belief in myself is also growing tentacles deep inside of me. Each day reinforces my belief that I will win. Each day fills me with a desire to reach that summit. To raise the banner of freedom high and shout down the slopes to all who will listen that soon we will all be standing here. For this is not a summit that is intended to be stood upon alone.
No, the summit of Mt. Freedom is a large summit with room for all who wish to raise that banner of freedom for themselves. It’s a summit that though hard to reach has rewards that will last us the rest of our lives!
This is how we get there. One step at a time. One urge at a time. One trigger at a time. And with each step we find that the slopes of Mt. Freedom though steep and unfamiliar become easier to navigate and more familiar. With each step we gain the confidence for the next step. We gain a belief that the summit really is just over the horizon. We gain the strength that we need to reach that summit and take the prize that is not only our freedom but our futures!
Onward my friends! I can’t wait to see all of you on that summit for it’s so much easier to climb with others then it is to climb alone. . .