Right now, I'm focusing on the fact that I can get through these difficult times without smoking. Thanks to Marilyn I realize there are going to be good and bad days, and you just have to ride it through. I am praying everyday that my daughter's dog makes it through this trial. Luna is her name and she is a great dane, She has had many health issues and right now her body is rejecting a rod implant in her leg. She and my daughter have been through so very much. Luna weighs 160 lbs. My daughter says she has a hole in her leg through the stitches and she can see her plate and a pin. She is taking her to a specialist on Monday. She doesn't want them to amputate, because she has been through enough pain in her short life. Unless there is a miracle, she will have to be put down.
We both cried on the phone today. I am praying hard that there is some other solution.
Today when I woke up I was also grieving Brian hard. I cried the ugly cry, guess I'm done stuffing my emotions and that's a good thing. So I will, yell, scream, cry the ugly cry, but darn it, I'm never going back to the cigs. Finally, I've had that ah ha moment, and I will just go through my days and do what I need to do without smoking!!
If you could only see that I need to take it one day at a time, and the day wasn't all bad, I had a great visit with my oldest daughter today and got to see my first grandchild, and he got his driver's license too!! Tonight I go to bed and be comforted by god, and all of you here, who have always helped me sooo much!!
xoxo Chris
Oh p.s. on another good note, I've been walking again to ease my stress and it helps so much. Yup, walking and praying.
