Was totally sad today, just missing Brian so much. Feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to take care of myself.
But..........it'll be what it'll be. He's not here, he's not coming back. It's up to ME, what I do and how I live my life.
I can either wallow in depression or begin to move forward. I'm lost, please god, help me find my way. Yesterday I was also in a funk, I went to the park, and just as I was driving past there was a beautiful bride kissing her new husband, the bridesmaids were wearing long maroon dresses. A new beginning for them, and a new beginning for me. I sat by the river for a few minutes and then walked and there was a whole school of kids playing in the field on the other side of the road. Makes me feel good just thinking about it. Today I choose not to smoke, I will get through this day, with a little help from my friends. On a fun note I have something to look forward to coming up in Dec. I have booked a trip to see my daughter and son-in-law and grandson in California. I won't be here the same day Brian passed away, but will be in the loving arms of my family. Now if that isn't the best reason to keep my quit I don't know what is???