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Share your quitting journey

Craving all day today. Help

Christine13
Member
4 13 146

I have been craving bad today, for about 3 days actually.  Thursday, Friday were very stressful days, and I thought I'd come through that ok finally on Friday night.  No, I didn't smoke.  I didn't drink either.  For some reason today has been especially bad for me. I can't go to my usual things like gum, or chips or crunchy foods because of my gum biopsies last Monday.  My junkie thinking is telling me to go and get some and smoke this feeling away.  After all I deserve a smoke cause I've been so good.  You know...........a reward!!  But wait a minute, I don't need that kind of reward, one that could eventually kill me-do I?  My junkie says I'm going to die anyway.  Wait..........STOP..........Last Monday when I was about to have those biopsies I told the Dr. I'd stopped smoking.  It felt so good to tell him that.  I smell so good, I don't have to keep running outside to feed my addiction.  Most days don't feel like this.  I really don't want to go through all of this heartache again.  ah.........yes, I remember Marilyn's words the only way out is through.  I thought I'd managed to convince myself that this wasn't so bad, tough but not that bad.  It's dang tough............Somehow I will find the strength to make it through this night.  I sure don't want to start from day one again, and I know after the first pack or two I'd want to quit again.  It just seems to be getting to me tonight.  All this mental bargaining is wearing me out...........so I DECIDE to take the high road.........no smoking for me tonight after all. Thanks for letting me share.

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About the Author
I'm a widow now, my husband passed away January 1, 2018 He died of COPD, and pre leukemia and the flu. He quit smoking 15 years ago which gave him extra time. I am a mother, and grandmother. I have smoked for 47 years. I am going to have my forever quit and I'm doing it for me and my two daughters so I can live longer and be with them. I like to read, swim, garden, crochet, paint and doodle. I also enjoy walking and visiting with friends and family. I am 100% making this my last quit. I have been in denial about what smoking has done to me and my kids. I must make a new life for myself and it doesn't include cigarettes. I may already have COPD, but have not been officially diagnosed.