Christine13

Discouragement and Determination

Blog Post created by Christine13 on Oct 22, 2017

I'm back at day one.  I am feeling really discouraged here.  I keep going back to smoking.  I have been in so very much denial about what smoking is doing to me.  However, I am DETERMINED to do this now.  I am using the patch and will use a nic lozenge to help me.  I have learned better how to handle my stress, but why do I keep looking for something to comfort me like smoking?  I have a package and a half of cigarettes left.  I will pour water over them and squish them up.  I WANT to DO the WORK now.  I want to be here everyday, and blog more often about how I feel.

I have a lot going on in my life living under so much stress on a daily basis.  I KNOW smoking only makes the stress worse, because then when I blow it I feel even more depressed.  I will be checking in with my therapist on Tuesday.

That should help.  Everyone here has been so good to me, to put up with me all these years.  I can honestly say I have about 3 years quit if I add up all my quit days.  That's just the point, it's not quitting if you keep relapsing.  I want to go with Not One Puff EVER!!!!

I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the woman I see, she has wrinkles and circles under her eyes, and her complexion is awful too!  All do to smoking!  Some how, some way, I am going to buckle down and get real about what this addiction has done to me.

I can't just hope to stay quit, I must face the withdrawals, and use my coping techniques to get through this.

Discouraged yes, very, DETERMINED NOW To MAKE IT!!!!

xoxo

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