CaptchaGremlin

Day 1

Blog Post created by CaptchaGremlin on Nov 20, 2019

So, I forgot to put this up last night. Yesterday was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Had to leave the gym early because I was just so frustrated at everything I almost started yelling. At inanimate objects. I didn't realize I could be so frustrated at everything! Went to the gym and started just scratching at my leg in the car, a regular nonstop puff fest location. Went through the grocery store and I felt like I looked like I was high on crack or something. Twitching, nibbling fingers, shaking, and I just started planning out odd stuff, like baking bread and making muffins. Got home and was both motivated to do things, which is kind of uncommon for me, and angry at every little thing, which was annoying. I yelled at the refrigerator. 

 

This is not easy, but I know it's for the best. Now I should probably find another brand of nicotine patches or something. The CVS brand ones I'm using have like no glue and keep trying to fall off. The only saving grace when it's not on properly are the gum and pretzel sticks I got. 

 

I miss vaping, though. I keep reaching for it before I remember. Grabbed a soda on accident a few times, which was honestly the best thing I could have reached for. I do need to get something to keep on hand that isn't as fattening, but I don't always remember to refill water bottles, and I tend to be picky as could be about drinks. Gonna have to hit the grocery store today and get something a little healthier. Maybe the Korean peach water. It has all of like 50 calories because if actual peach juice, but it's mostly just water. 

 

Ugh, it's morning now I'm I'm trying to wake up. I am hopeful and nervous. Here's hoping today is at least a LITTLE easier than yesterday.

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