For me, apart from the fact that I smoked at all for 40+ years, the event that makes me sad and angry and disappointed in myself is that I missed Derek and Kathryn's daddy/daughter dance at her wedding because......
I was outside having my first cigarette of the day with 2 close friends!!!!! (At the time I was pretty proud that I lasted from 7am to 8pm without smoking).
Every time that memory flies by, I want to burst into tears. I'm fortunate that the whole wedding is on video including their dance. Still …. not the same as witnessing it live.
For the longest time I blamed the 3 bridesmaids for not one of them bothering to fetch me in. It took 4 years for me to admit the bridesmaids had nothing to do with it. It was myself I was angry with.
Stupid, stupid addiction!!