I know I should blog more but when I feel I have nothing worthwhile, witty or wise to say, I keep quiet and rely on your blogs to keep me smober.
After some 40 (41/42? not sure) days, I was compelled to emerge from my hermit-like existence inside and brave the outdoors. My brother phoned Friday and said 6 weeks, enough already. According to him (an ex-smoker for many years), 2 days are enough to build the bridge and get over it. It's now been too long between visits and he needs us all to be together and to have a cook-out and that we may expect all 6 of them here yesterday by noon.
I decided not to tell him to leave me alone and I also didn’t lecture him on how addiction works (for me). Instead, I graciously accepted his "invitation" for all 6 of them to come and invade my peaceful existence.
My house has no front or back porch. However, on the side of the house, just outside the kitchen door, is a large brick-paved area with an old tree slap-bang in the centre for shade. We refer to this as our entertainment centre, veranda, porch, lapa, tree house, dining room. Just tables, chairs, barbecue (we call it a braai) lots of potted plants and a generally sociable area.
But whatever it should be called, it's where I smoked. For 6 weeks I've only been using the front door to get to the car and back, avoiding my biggest trigger spot.
Of the 10 of us yesterday, only Ric's son-in-law smokes and he politely moved away from us (me) every time he lit up.
DID NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. Didn’t make me crave, wish, taste, imagine, remember…nothing. I have one confession though, I once made a point of walking past him (closely) to catch the smell. Don’t know what he smokes, I smelt nothing.
So I’ve gained back "my place" for relaxing with coffee, cats and dogs, X-words, visiting and far away from all electronics.
It really did seem an insurmountable problem for me and I’ve stopped inviting friends over and giving very inventive reasons why I haven’t been available. Seems I can mend some fences now and tell them all what I’ve been up to and to come back to our chatting tree. They ALL smoke…so only one at a time to start.
Anyway, yesterday was a blast, music, wine, family, food, laughter and I’m very grateful to Sean for giving me the opportunity to be around a smoker for the first time without having a melt-down.
Love you all and wishing you a happy smoke-free new week (short one, right?).
Ps - just checked - 42 days.