Hello folks.
My blog titled “26 days to knee surgery” was my last proper communication. I went into shut-down mode/depression/tantrum/panic…call it what you will…. But….. I stayed smoke-free!!!!! It’s astonishing don’t you think?
I’ve clawed my way out of the hole now – sorry that sounds over-dramatic – it was very dark in here for a week or 2. I’ve re-read all your comments to that last blog. It comforts and reassures me that I have way more friends and prayers and angels and light lined up for this surgery than for the last one – Love you all madly…I mean that sincerely. All your positive messages and honest encouragement warms me and makes me talk to myself sternly about fear. You all ROCK!
About my quit – My one real wholehearted quit in 2014 lasted 5 weeks. I was my mom’s primary care-giver (Alzheimer’s) She passed away 5 weeks after I quit (I now know that’s no excuse!) and all the smoking cousins and friends surrounded me after the memorial service with love, hugs, condolences, admiration, compliments and MANY cigarettes on offer. In their defense, I told no one about my quit 5 weeks earlier. I just ignored my 5 hard-won weeks, and lit up. Opened the wine, and that was the end of THAT quit trip.
This quit, “5 weeks” was quite a big deal for me. But what with throwing dolls out of the cot for a week, I forgot to count days or to even check my quit calendar. Tomorrow, my friends, (or Monday, whatever) I reach the magical 5 week mark! So, to quote Chuck: ONWARD TO FREEDOM!
18 days to surgery now. Spent yesterday in radiology for my “photo shoot”. MAN, those women can be rough! Then spent a little while filling 5 tubes with my blood. Next Wednesday is the appointment with physician, that god-awful blow test (hate them but maybe smoke-free will make it easier?), the stress tests and many others I don’t remember and the long serious talk. Then only 2 weeks to admission.
I WILL NOT LOSE MY SENSE OF HUMOUR
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I’m reading the last of your interesting blogs/discussions tomorrow – I get so caught up in them, I’m not doing my other reading (eg. still only half-way with Alan Carr’s book!) I want to arm myself to be ready for staying smoke-free when I get home from hospital and I’d better make a start as NML is staring me in the face, I believe?
Will check in with you before checking into hospital.
Bree xoxoxoxoxox
