Bree's Quit

Blog Post created by Bree19 on Feb 19, 2017

...has come to a screeching halt.  I'm freaking out.

Tomorrow (Monday) was planned as my first day of cutting back for 7 days - starting with 15 tomorrow, 13 on Tuesday and so on till my last 3 next Sunday and then next Monday - DAY ONE OF MY QUIT!!

I've been trying to read Allen Carr since yesterday but  am so distracted I realise 3 paragraphs later that nothing has stuck. So I go back to read them again, stop, check my emails, read all your comments, think I'll never reach what you are all working so hard for and achieving your goals, close the laptop, smoke, watch an old Friends or Grey's episode then go back to the book.  I haven't quit yet.  Nothing should be making me this erratic?

Went to a birthday dinner last night at Jo Mexico for my niece's 24th.  My only concern was not exceeding my allowed points on Weight Watchers (until the Margarita's started!  Then all my concerns just fled).  I didn't even take my smokes - I never gave them a thought all night till I got home.  7pm - 11:30pm.  I know I can and will survive without them - why am I suddenly so fearful?  

I read and reread all your advice to everyone but as soon as I go back to the book, I sort of check out, freeze up, blank out.

What's the matter with me?  Why do I expect you to know?  I feel clingy and whiny and SO ashamed.