Skip navigation
All People > Bree19 > Bree19 's Blog > 2017 > February
2017

Bree19 's Blog

February 2017 Previous month Next month
Bree19

Starting tomorrow

Posted by Bree19 Feb 26, 2017

The final Sunday before my quit.  I'm taking back my life.  I choose to be an EX. 

 

It’s a little bit exciting…and very scary.   But unlike last Sunday I am way more educated and prepared. I’m NOT moving my quit date another week on again.   I still have prep work to do today but I need to write down my progress so far – for myself.  In a permanent location ... not on bits of paper.

  

I must still:    Re-visit and update my Profile with my quit plan and my reasons for quitting.  Navigate the site some more (still not too sure about my competence).  Finish the Allen Carr book.  Buy a new Rubik’s cube and new coloured pens and pencils. Find/Add some more distractions/busyness for idle hands.  PLAN MORE, keep paying attention today.

 

So far my planned actions for creepy craves are deep breaths, water, brush teeth, reach out to EX-ers, go hobble/walk with crutches outside, do pre-op exercises, finish crochet blanket, phone ex-smoker friends (all 3 of them), colour book, figure out the cube again and remind, remind, remind myself – Self:   you used to go 8 hours minimum back when employed… can you just hold out for 3 minutes? 

 

I’m expecting lots of unexpected triggers but my worst are pain, any anxiety, panic, unexpected drama causing stress.   Can’t do drama anymore. 

 

So things already in place:  Husband primed for ***** on wheels, sugar free gum, straws, Jazz & Blues cd’s, guided meditation cd’s, Kali Phos, all episodes of Friends, Raymond and Grey’s, well-established eating plan, good snacks, Weight Watchers team leader on speed dial, the disposable lighter is rapidly running low (serendipity?) and STAY on this site permanently.

 

Still need to:  record Planet Earth, throw out all ashtrays, snuffers, empty lighters and left-over smokes (!!!) tonight, find belief in my abilities, find ongoing determination, stop fearing failure, and whatever else I’ll come up with in the wee hours tomorrow.

 

Enjoy your Sunday EX-buddies.  You will surely hear from me tomorrow.

Bree19

Bree's quit

Posted by Bree19 Feb 20, 2017

Good evening all!

Day one of prep week is now over.  Last night I built a bridge and  got over myself to control the fall-aparts.

First goal today was cutting back from 25 to 15.  It's past my bedtime and I've smoked 14.  So...  happy dance when I brush my teeth soon.  SO happy.  I knew I was out of my league with this rubbish  20-25 a day

Tomorrow's goal is to finish the Allen Carr book, read more old blogs and stopping at 13 cigs.  I can see myself going to bed earlier and earlier to achieve these cutbacks...but even that is good for my health.  Get off the laptop, gather the cats and dog and snuggle in bed reading a good old thriller (for about 10 minutes) and then it will be:  Bree out!

 

I think I have the banner figured out ... but do you think I can insert a pic of myself next to or under my title above?  Not even a clue.  That will be Wednesday's challenge.  

 

Sleep tight.  Night night

Bree

Bree19

Bree's Quit

Posted by Bree19 Feb 19, 2017

...has come to a screeching halt.  I'm freaking out.

Tomorrow (Monday) was planned as my first day of cutting back for 7 days - starting with 15 tomorrow, 13 on Tuesday and so on till my last 3 next Sunday and then next Monday - DAY ONE OF MY QUIT!!

I've been trying to read Allen Carr since yesterday but  am so distracted I realise 3 paragraphs later that nothing has stuck. So I go back to read them again, stop, check my emails, read all your comments, think I'll never reach what you are all working so hard for and achieving your goals, close the laptop, smoke, watch an old Friends or Grey's episode then go back to the book.  I haven't quit yet.  Nothing should be making me this erratic?

Went to a birthday dinner last night at Jo Mexico for my niece's 24th.  My only concern was not exceeding my allowed points on Weight Watchers (until the Margarita's started!  Then all my concerns just fled).  I didn't even take my smokes - I never gave them a thought all night till I got home.  7pm - 11:30pm.  I know I can and will survive without them - why am I suddenly so fearful?  

I read and reread all your advice to everyone but as soon as I go back to the book, I sort of check out, freeze up, blank out.

What's the matter with me?  Why do I expect you to know?  I feel clingy and whiny and SO ashamed.

Bree

Whatever, Monday 20 Feb will be day one unless I have to postpone a week for further education.  40 Years is a long, long time.

 

I have to say tracking the smokes before quitting provides me with a lot of insight.  Tracked Sunday and Monday but yesterday went by in a blur with starting a new, extra typing job at home...so no tracking or reading.   Tracking again today and therefore, automatically started reading progress, problems, advice and news from all of you.  Will stay home this weekend and really get to know this site and will also be reading Allen Carr.

 

My only concern (except for cigarette cravings), is eating.  I started Weight Watchers on 12 September and am consistently losing 2Kgs a month (about 4.4 lbs).  Last week I reached my first goal of 10 Kgs GONE!  I really don't want to jeopardise my progress - many, many Kgs to go...will take at least another 2-3 years.  But after trying all the miracle wonder diets over the last 20 years, I've realised fast loss is a waste of time and a lot of money spent unnecessarily.

 

So I'll be snacking on lean biltong (for salty) and winegums (for sweet) ... Very low on Weight Watchers points system.  See?  I'm preparing.  Only one ashtray left in the house and one outside.  Sunday night both go into the garbage bag.

 

Oh by the way, biltong = beef jerky, more or less.

Which makes me wonder, am I the only Saffa in the group?  Everyone seems to be American.

 

Lastly, all your comments are helpful and makes me fear next week less an less.

Bree

 

Ps - Above is a bit repetitive now, having said most of it in my replies today.

Bree19

4 Days to go till quit date!

Posted by Bree19 Feb 15, 2017

I'm busy with my prep for Monday. Will be spending the weekend reading.  Back to tracking smokes after one crazy non-tracking day yesterday  (new employer).  The tracking is a real eye opener.  Keeping this short.  Lost my first message from earlier.

Bree19

It's gone!

Posted by Bree19 Feb 15, 2017

Just wrote my first blog, clicked 'Save Draft', and now I can't find it.  Help? Anyone?