It's been a bit of a rough week. On Monday I fell in my little garden area kicking at a nandina stump I want to get rid of. Not a wise thing to do--I was already dressed for work and was just killing time basically. Ha! That'll learn me! I fell backward hard on my rear on my cement pathway. The main hurt was my left wrist...I took a naproxen, wrapped it with an ace bandage and headed to work. Asked my supervisor for the back cashwrap area (a lot less busy than the front) and had a good day, went to Sprouts to grocery shop afterward and then got stuck in nightmare surface street traffic due to a fatal accident on the heavily-used street that goes directly from my place to work. Was sent on a wildgoose chase by the policeman directing traffic off that road (not his fault, he sent us the only way to go) and didn't get home til almost 2 hours later (it usually takes 15 minutes). My back wasn't happy by this time, but I kept thinking I was grateful not to be involved in the accident--a hurt wrist and sore back were nothing compared to a headon car accident.
Could barely get out of bed Tuesday morning--my back was pretty bad. Called off work and was able to get my heating pad out of the closet and plugged in...knew I just couldn't lay there all day and after deciding I would keep taking the naproxen I get for my knee (and rarely take), and doing some stretches, etc. I was in much better shape at the end of the day. I ended up grateful that night, too, especially since I had Wednesday off work.
Woke up feeling good on Wednesday, so good I sat at my dining room table in the morning with my coffee and worked on a jigsaw puzzle 'til noon. WRONG! My back was not good after all that sitting...Second not-so-smart thing I did last week.
Went to work on Thursday (had found a little wrist brace I had bought years ago and wore that to work to hide the bad bruising) and had a really good day--supervisor put me at the back again and I was able to cashier and even empty the cart holding the gift merchandise that belongs in that area--it was fun putting away all the new calendars, journals, dayplanners, etc.--we sure carry some pretty (and expensive!) merchandise. Went home and fixed the big salad I usually eat for dinner on Mondays and proceeded to chip a front tooth on my fork. I was afraid to go look at it, but it wasn't as horrible as it had sounded. I got out my nail file and gently smoothed the rough edge but I had to keep looking at it all night until I convinced myself it wasn't bad (it's really not, but vanity, you know). Went to bed grateful that it was just a little thing and realized I have to start being more careful with how I eat now that I'm "mature"...sigh...so far THREE "little" lessons this week....
Yesterday was Friday (TGIF) and I went to work, but had to work the front because the coworker in the back had to replenish the magazines (we have hundreds of magazines). I must have waited on at least 60 people in 2 hours. My wrist started hurting and I told my boss and he basically sent me home (I had gotten 4 memberships in 2 hours and so was still in great standing). Came home to a mess in my tiny front yard--the palm tree folks were trimming the trees on my street and had moved my potted plants and not put them back and there were hundreds of palmtree berries all over...everywhere. I called the park management and it got taken care of, but not before I just broke down in tears when I was by myself. After calming down, I realized I was very grateful I had been sent home early from work because I was able to get this situation rectified as soon as possible. Otherwise I would have had to look at the mess all weekend and try to deal with it after the holiday weekend.
What a week! Just a bunch of "stuff" compounded til I cried. But it was a release to cry (I used to smoke instead of cry) and I was still in one piece (bruised, chipped, and sore) and my little yard looks nice again. After a glass of wine (ok, two BIG glasses of wine) and getting into my jammies and watching some Golden Girls (I love that show) I went to bed, thanked GOD for getting me through a challenging week and got nine hours sleep. I feel GREAT today!
I did reach 600 days nicotine-free yesterday. As a former chronic relapser, I am proud of this. However, the most amazing thing is that NEVER during this week did I think of smoking. In the "old days" (that's what I call my former smoking life) I would have been up to a least a pack a day (I was a halfpack-a-day smoker) and would have felt worse mentally and physically, and would have spent $$$ I didn't have to feed my addiction. When I was really "up" during most of this summer, the thought of smoking did enter my mind a few times. The addictive mind is such an interesting one!
If you get to this point and you're a newbie, I just want you to know that there WILL come a time--it could be a stressful time (I always broke a quit under stress)--when YOU WILL NOT CONSIDER SMOKING AS AN OPTION. It sounds like a miracle, but it does happen.
Grateful to get through this week in one piece, grateful to be a nonsmoker, and grateful for YOU. Have a safe and hopefully smokefree weekend!