Bonnie

"Happy Holidays"

Blog Post created by Bonnie on Oct 28, 2018

are starting early for me this year.  That is sung in a highly sarcastic tone with a fake smile on my face. 

(My laptop almost stopped working altogether, but fortunately I figured out how to jerryrig it...can't move it because the hinge is broken and not fixable but I've got it propped securely on my desk and can type more quickly on the online keyboard. Thank God because I may bite the bullet and purchase a new one during Christmas sale time but in the meantime I'm gonna need to communicate wi4h me EX family to get me to my year milestone.

 

Last week was EXTREMELY stressful, but with positive outcomes. I didn't call off or walk off my job and had my best 

'sales' day ever while processing a sales transaction every 2.45 minutes...yes you have to be FAST as well as sell store memberships. The day after my day from hell, I got an apology from one manager and had a good conversation with the one manager who knows how to treat his staff. Thank God he is there.

 

BEST THING ABOUT THE PAST WEEK IS I DIDN'T SMOKE OVER IT.

 

Looks like I will be taking my older daughter and two teenage grandsons to dinner this coming Thursday. The boys are too big to fit in my Mustang, so Chloe will be driving (a nice SUV that she really needed that I lent her the down payment and cosigned for). She paid me back as promised and hasn't missed a payment in 3 1/2 years. We had a major falli g out two years ago and are currently estranged...Pray that our get-together is the beginning of a healthy loving

reconciliation--thanks.

 

Yesterday I ended up spending most of the day at my younger daughter's house helping her put my granddaughter's room together, a nice day and the room turned out really well. Found out at the very end of the evening that my girls' father will probably be coming down for Christmas. That's where the sarcastic "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" comes in...they all get together for a fine old time and old "Nonnie" (me) gets left out in cold...it's happened many, many times over the years since our divorce (holidays weren't called out in our papers) and I would never know what was happening til the last minute because of weather or whatever. It really, really sucks and has been the excuse for at least one relapse (my longest to date) and more pity parties than I can count...He also walked out on the girls and me for the last time in early December...It was awful...this will be the first Christmas I will be smokefree since then and that was 34 years ago.

 

So...dear friends and fellow nicotine-fighters, I will be asking for your support, encouragement and prayers during this upcoming joyous season of good cheer and loving kindness. I am not looking forward to it, especially the work portion of

it.

 

HOWEVER:

* I made it through a huge milestone last week.

* I am not around anyone who smokes.

* I have a decent relationship with one daughter, working on the second and my grandkids all love me.

* My health is good, I have a roof over my head, food to eat and adequate income.

* I fixed my computer enough so I can communicate with the best quit-smoking-and-stay quit support group EVER

* I have 290+ days SMOKEFREE and I sure as heck AM NOT GOING TO BLOW THIS QUIT

SO THERE YOU BLANKETY-BLANK NICOTINE RECEPTORS IN MY BRAIN--

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THIS TIME..YOU KNOW ME..I AM HIGHLY MOTIVATED

WHEN CHALLENGED AND I'M GOING TO MAKE IT THIW TIME

 

Now I better publish this before I hit the wrong key    Love you all and thanks for being here...

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