Here's Looking at You, Kid

Blog Post created by Bellegonia on Nov 1, 2018



Today we said the final goodbye to my classmate Melissa. Class of 1980. She died of lung cancer, fighting a courageous battle for the last 9 years, until she ran out of options - AND NEVER SMOKED A DAY IN HER LIFE.

Last night I helped send a heart to a 14-year-old on the transplant list, from a 27-year-old who died from an asthma attack and was a pack per day smoker. She left behind 3 children under the age of 10.

There, by the Grace of God, go I... I don't want to die of emphysema but if I do, it's because I earned it one cigarette at a time. Tomorrow I see the Pulmonologist for the first time.

Raising my glass in the air, "Here's looking at you, Kid."


11/01/18 Update: I have COPD - NOT emphysema. Like I knew there was a difference before today? Are you FEN kidding me? How can one be so smart and so stupid all at the same time? How sad that no one I spoke to today knew of this web site. The Doc jotted the site name down after I mentioned it was affiliated with the Mayo Clinic. I hope that helps just one person.


My lung capacity was at 66% which is only compared to the 80% of a normal NON smoker. It would appear I'm not dying tomorrow or any time soon. Due to my Grade 1 (x 2) nodules I get to have a CT scan every year for the next 15 years but require no further followup. I smoked for 45 years and no one wants to see me for a year? WOW.


I have no idea why I am alive and Melissa isn't. 45+ years of smoking and I'm writing to my support peeps and Melissa is dead. What The Hell. I HAVE TO acknowledge having this thought: "I'm not dying... I could smoke again - at least just one - and still be OK!"